Stay with me
by dorina16able
Summary: After being held captive and tortured by the Military Police, Sasha has shut herself out from the world, lost in the terrors and taunting she went through. She needs a strong presence next to her, someone who can ground her and assure her she's safe…someone who can show her, in his own way, that she's not alone.


**A/N: Okay, seriously, twenty-four minutes for an Attack on Titan episode are wayyyy too few! Especially now, with the mess that's awaiting us (I'm not spoiling anything for those who haven't read the manga)...and I may know what's happening, but seeing it in action is much more exciting and those who already saw Episode 5 know what I'm talking about ;)**

 **Anyway, until the next episode is released my favorite couple has returned, this time with a much darker tone, so be aware! I hope you'll like it nonetheless...honestly, I love writing about sentimental Jean who comforts his Potato Girl! Contains a spoiler for the manga, so be warned!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Attack on Titan universe and characters in any way**

Jean has had his own share of mistakes throughout his years in the military, both as a cadet of the 104th and as a recruit for the Scout Regiment. But if someone asked him what his two biggest mistakes were, he'd answer without hesitation.

His number one fault is that he let his best friend out of sight, resulting in Marco being found after the Battle of Trost, his body bitten in half and with no one noticing anything—Jean still has nightmares that haunt him with this image.

His number two fault is that he was so naïve to dream of becoming a Military Police member. Seriously, how could he be so stupid, seeing everything egoistically and superficially and not considering the MPs the useless jerks that they are?

Even as a member of the Recon Corps, the fear of dying in the frontlines hasn't left him; he only joined to avenge Marco and because he finally saw that fighting is their only chance to free humanity from the Titans. The first time he truly saw the Military Police for what they are was during the Battle of Stohess, when the Female Titan appeared in the middle of Wall Sina's district and they stood there frozen like the terrified chickens they were, leaving the Scouts to do everything; and accusing them afterwards for destroying the place as well.

 _Freaking Military Police logic,_ he thinks now as he sneaks around Stohess with Eren, Squad Leader Hanji and her assistant Moblit, heading towards the headquarters of the brigade itself.

As he ducks behind a corner in order not to become noticed, his mind returns him to reality and his hand balls into a fist like every time he is scared and furious. Stupid the MPs may be, but they also don't hesitate to anything when they feel that their precious Wall Sina and their wealth is threatened. In their egoistical stupidity they even consider the Scouts as the true enemies, especially ever since Hanji took Pastor Nick with them in an attempt to find out more about where the Titans came from and how on earth the walls can be made of said creatures. That was about one or two months ago and Djel Sannes, a member of the MPs and the First Interior Squad specifically, afraid that Nick told them something and wanting to learn information about the Survey Corps in return, killed him in cold blood; when Jean learned that, his despise towards this regiment turned to hatred within a second.

But that wasn't enough for them, oh no. Terrified that their group _had_ learnt something in the end, they abducted three of the recruits with the purpose to find out what exactly they know. Which finds Sasha, Connie and Armin in their hands and the rest of the team on the way to rescue them. Jean leaves an angry sound at the thought of his friends in who knows what situation, tortured and interrogated.

"Shut up!" Eren hisses and nudges him."Do you want them to hear us?"

Jean quietly shakes his head; he knows that Eren is right. The Scouts are split in teams: one will distract the guards, one will keep watch while they free their imprisoned friends and one is responsible for the freeing process. A frown appears on his face, having experienced being abducted himself, back when he had disguised himself as Eren and Armin as Historia. They have spent hours discussing why the MPs have taken these three in particular, but they probably didn't even think about it, they just took three of the recruits with the hope to break them.

He has to admit, luck is on their side for the rescue mission, not to mention that they have their own ally within the Military Police. No matter their planning and their confidence that everything will go well, they all know that all attempts would be futile if not for Marlowe Freudenberg, one of the MP recruits who seems to share the same moral code as Eren and Jean, frustrated by his superiors' tendency to stay completely indifferent about what's happening in the other walls.

Another proof that luck is on their side is that Sasha, Connie and Armin's abductors are so idiotic and complacent that they put the rookies on charge to watch the three prisoners instead of the veterans. Which makes their job to free them so much easier, that even after everything is over and the three of them are with their comrades and with Hanji looking after them for the first injuries, they still expect to be ambushed…the sight of the small carriage that waits for them is welcome for all; they're going back to the familiar grounds of Wall Rose, back to their hideout.

And while Eren and Mikasa fuss over Armin, Jean lets his emotionless façade disappear, the relief overwhelms him and he engulfs Connie and Sasha in a tight group hug, an apology for not being there for them, a promise to protect these two. Judging from the way Connie grabs the back of his cloak and Sasha leans in his arms, her whole body shaking, the two soldiers who manage to lighten the mood need their support more than ever.

* * *

That same night, Jean can't go to bed, the adrenalin from everything that has happened not allowing him to rest. From the moment they arrived in the building they use as shelter he's been in a frenzy, walking from the stables to feed the horses to Commander Erwin's office to ask how he can help, to the small room Hanji's using as a laboratory to carry bandages to Armin's room, to Connie's room, staying with his friend until he falls asleep.

Now he walks across a corridor, lost in thoughts that create a wild dance in his mind. As a member of the Survey Corps and having helped in the Battle of Trost previously, he has confronted humanity's mortality and continues confronting it. But he has realized that Titans aren't the only enemies here…humans threaten them as well and that's the most tragic fact for him. How fellow-humans—and fellow- _soldiers_ —are capable to kidnap three innocent recruits and put them through all sorts of torment is beyond him.

Armin, who's so intelligent and has managed to save them from countless obstacles with his plans…Connie, who always has a joke ready and is capable of finding a reason to laugh even when everything seems hopeless…and Sasha, their Potato Girl, Connie's partner-in-crime, a sunshine in these dark times and with witty comments that inspire everyone to continue fighting. Jean hurts for all of them, but the thought of the cheerful Sasha being tortured, afraid and hopeless almost hurts him physically, as if he can't breathe.

At that moment he spots Hanji exiting Sasha's room with a troubled expression and a frown on her face. He salutes her and greets her with a respectful "Squad Leader Hanji", his eyes silently asking her how Sasha fares. The older woman sighs and stares at him with compassion, placing a hand on his shoulder and locking her gaze in his.

"She needs some time to fully recover, she has suffered a broken rib, several bruises due to severe beating and a serious malnutrition," she explains and Jean leaves an angry growl; how on earth had he ever thought of joining this bunch of monsters? "I am more concerned about her mental state, though…She is still in shock, as if having shut herself in her own world as a way to forget the cruelties she's been through."

"May I go to her?" he wants to know and looks anxiously at her; if Sasha is in such a condition, he wants to be beside her, to help her just like she has helped all of them in her own way. Right now he regrets immensely the way he mocked her in their training days, his playful teasing often ending up being insulting. He wants to make up for everything, now that he's come one step before losing her.

"Of course. Try not to disturb her, though, right now she needs gentleness, understanding and no sudden gestures towards her, she will receive them as threat."

Jean nods curtly and enters Sasha's room with quiet steps, almost taken aback by the sight of her. She sits up on her bed despite her broken rib, hugging her legs and resting her chin on her knees. But the greatest shock comes from her expression, which Jean is used to see hopeful and teasing; now she has a blank look, having locked her eyes on the wall without actually seeing it and without paying attention to the boy approaching her. Jean feels actually helpless right now; Hanji _did_ advise him that Sasha needs gentleness but he was never good at that, preferring to hide his true emotions to expressing them openly even to those he cares about. Still, he has to do this now, for Sasha's sake; this empty shell that sits on the bed isn't the girl he knows.

He sits in front of her, careful not to scare her, and observes her face, the purple and yellow bruises littering the pale skin and the usual anger rises in him, despite his best attempts to control it for her. He hesitates, then places a hand on her shoulder, gently, a faint gesture of comfort with the hope to bring her out of her trance and back to reality. "Sasha?" he starts and his voice has a tender tone he's using for the first time, without its usual combativeness and determination; he only wants to break the deafening silence of the room that holds her suffering…he's trying to give her something to hold on.

"Sasha, I know you're in there and that you're listening to me…I can't imagine what you've been through, but you're gonna make it, you hear? You're so strong, you're going to face this and I promise I'll be by your side from now on, without laughing at you anymore. We'll find a way and I'll be there whenever you need me, when you need to cry, to hear a consoling word, to lean on someone after a nightmare…"

There's still no response from the brunette and now Jean feels so desperate and useless that he's on the verge of tears. He's made a vow to himself: after he burst out in sobs when they burned the bodies after the Battle of Trost and he decided to join the Scouts, no more tears…and now Sasha's condition after a whole week of torture makes him want to cry his eyes out and do anything in his hands to see her smile again. He leans towards her, his head gently pressed against hers and a hand caressing the back of her neck, feeling her still shaking violently, but Sasha remains still; she doesn't jolt away from his touch in a fit of panic, but it does nothing to bring a single word from her.

 _Oh, God, what did they do to you? Come on, Sasha, please, don't lose yourself in this state, stay with me…Stay with me and I swear, I will never make fun of you again, I'll be a good friend from now on._

"Right now you need to lie down and rest, you need to recover. Please, try to get some sleep, believe me, it will do you good…and tomorrow I'll make you anything you want to eat, we'll do anything you want, just…just, please, try to rest," he makes another try, although his voice comes out as meek and begging; he doesn't know what to say, how to deal with someone who's like that.

And then the miracle happens.

Sasha doesn't look at him and gives the impression that she hasn't heard anything he said, but the soft whispery voice that can be heard is definitely hers, even if it's quiet and barely audible.

"J-Jean…? Can you…can you…stay with me?"

The young soldier's head jolts up at the sound of her voice and he looks at her with sparking eyes, unable to believe that she _spoke_ , that he managed to evoke some change in her. A huge wave of relief packs him and now he can't avoid the few tears that run down his cheeks, both tears of happiness that Sasha showed a sign of life and of pain for what she has suffered. He cups her face and kisses her forehead, her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks and even her lips; small and soft kisses that serve both as an apology for not looking after her and as a display of pure affection that's combined with the relief he feels and the promise that he'll look after her from now on. Sasha doesn't pull away despite his frantic movements, sensing the warmth and the love the pecks he gives her leave behind.

"Of course, of course I'll stay, Sasha, you'll be okay, everything will be okay, you'll see, you'll be well before you even know it."

Jean adjusts them both so they lie down comfortably, covered with a blanket, Sasha's head on his chest and him hugging her. She hasn't stopped shaking and she doesn't return his hug, keeping her hands around her as if to protect herself from the cold and the enemies that still lurk in her head. Still, she leans in his embrace instinctively and, no matter the shadows and the danger that still exists for her, the sound of Jean's steady heartbeat right in her ear quickly lulls her to sleep.

* * *

 _The dungeon is dark and silent and Sasha finds herself all alone in this wretched place of horror, trembling as the sound of approaching steps grows louder and louder. The next moment the pain hits her with all its strength, physical and mental and she is completely unable to defend herself; she can't move, she can't strike her attacker, she can't even scream for help. She only lays on the ground as the blows hit her again and again, together with those voices, furious and taunting at the same time._

 _"_ _What do you know? How are you planning to use the information against us?"_

 _"_ _Don't look at your friends, you stupid girl, they won't help you!"_

 _"_ _You think you're noble, eh? Protecting the Scouting Regiment, the very same soldiers who betrayed the military and rebelled against the king himself!"_

 _"_ _No…"_

 _"_ _Sasha?"_

 _Another voice, but so different from the others…this one is concerned, alerted, yet so gentle and loving that she feels safer automatically and images and memories make the pain fade away. Teasing and laughing moments…herself crying because of a stupid cooking contest and someone taking her hand and comforting her…hugs and gentle kisses, feather-light, but filled with care. The next moment, though, another blow brings her back to the dungeon and the torture, back to despair._

 _"_ _It has no sense protecting them, girl. They won't come to you! No one will come to help you!"_

 _"_ _Sasha!"_

 _"_ _No…" she whimpers, unable to form full sentences._

 _"_ _No one will care about what will happen to you because you're nothing but a nuisance to them! A useless burden!"_

 _"_ _No…"_

 _"_ _Sasha, please!"_

 _"_ _No, no, no…"_

 _"_ _Sasha!"_

Sasha sits up abruptly, the terrified scream escaping her lips and Jean waking up immediately, ready to jump to her aid and assure her that everything is over now. Now her body's shaking way worse than before, silent tears running down her face and when Jean attempts to pull her in his arms, she pushes him roughly away, as if awaiting another blow from her torturers. She lies down so her back is facing him, once again hugging herself and succumbing to the heavy tremors, closing her eyes tightly, trying to block her mind.

This time, though, Jean doesn't let the feeling of uselessness defeat him; he's made a promise and he's determined to keep it. He lies down as well, carefully running a finger up and down her arm in the gentlest of touches, barely there, just enough to soothe her; and after what seems like hours, her trembling lessens and he wraps his arms around her in a protective embrace, peppering the back of her head with tender kisses.

"Shhh, that's it," he whispers, having realized that hearing a soft voice is helping her. "I'm here now, Potato Girl. And I'm not leaving."

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, folks, another one-shot has reached its end...seriously, I'll never get tired writing about these two :D Anyway, hope you liked it and stay tuned for more one-shots, tehehe ;)  
**


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